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For Carol

Trigger warning: loss


Death is an odd business.

In my ripe age of 27, the grim reaper isn’t something I fear. I’ve been hearing from a young age the only sure things in life are “death and taxes” well before I knew what either meant. Still, death has the upper hand over me in the form of surprise.

For those reading who are part of the Is This Adulting? Best Friends group on Facebook the name Carol Sneed is recognizable. She was, along with Tiff Franks and myself, a moderator to the group; a keeper of the keys and a watcher on the wall. She was always willing to reach out to those in the group who were struggling and lend a kind word to those who were in need. 

Her death caught me off guard. Living during a pandemic crisis has brought on unnecessary stress for many and it’s hard to fathom finding out a friend has passed. When I was made aware, I was trying to relax after work with a glass of wine and a bubble bath. 

I think my bath cooled to match my shock. I didn’t know what to do. I read Steven’s announcement making everyone aware and simply put my phone down, not sure what to say or how to feel. Looking back, I believe it was shock.

Then I remembered I was a moderator in this group and had a responsibility not only to my fellow fallen mod but friends to make sure they could be guided through this. If you’re a part of the group, the name is unmistakable and one to look to for guidance. 

The group is a place to unload, laugh and cry. There have been plenty of instances of death but it’s been of a member’s friend or family. Whereas we have felt the sadness of a concerned friend and offered condolences, we were collectively on the outside looking in. 

But Carol was family. She was all of our family. She was a knitter. She was a wife. She was a cat mom. She was a moderator. She was a best friend. 

She was family. 

Emily Ridener

A few words about me

Emily is a graduate of Wayne State University in Midtown, Detroit with a BA in Journalism and a BA in English (yes, she’s a nerd who chased two different degrees because reading and writing are LIFE). Born and raised in, like the Journey song says, south of Detroit in a small town that few have heard of, she currently works in pagination trying to come up with punny headlines. She loves a documentary, a good rock band, a strong coffee and a spoiled rescue shorkie named Eleonora.